On Pirates
by Oriviurr
Summary: The worst mistake King Francis of Diamonds ever made was introducing Captain Arthur Kirkland to the King of Spades. Cardverse USUK/one-sided FrUK.
1. A Visit

_I AM SO SORRY. DOC MANAGER FREAKED OUT AGAIN. _

_Don't use OpenOffice kids, anyway:_

_Here's some cardverse! USUK with one-sided FrUK. I am seriously obsessed with writing from Francis' point of view. He's adorable! ^.^_

_Enjoy!_

_~Here's a thing, I've made a Franada sequel. It's on my page. :3~_

* * *

The worst mistake King Francis of Diamonds ever made was introducing Captain Arthur Kirkland to the King of Spades.

He could still remember the horrifying experience of being kidnapped by the terrible, witty, adorable (_Stop it, Francis_) pirate on the day of his much-awaited coronation clearly. He liked to call it their first date. Joy had settled like a warm blanket over the passionate Kingdom of Diamonds as the young heir had reached the age in which he was deemed old enough to rule and as the golden crown was set on his soft locks he couldn't think of anything but _I did it. I finally did it! _His people had cheered him on as a new period for Diamonds began. And god, was he happy.

And then he came crashing down to earth when he found the damn pirate on sitting on the windowsill with that damn_ smirk._

To be fair though, he'd been treated with respect! If you excluded the being tied to a chair. Not many people thought it worthy of being excluded, but still.

After Captain Kirkland had walked off snickering with his chest full of riches, Gilbert and Antonio had tried endlessly to knock him out of his trance, his obsession with Arthur (When had he started calling him Arthur?). He couldn't even look at other beautiful people for fear of feeling disrespectful. They called it Stockholm Syndrome. Francis called it_ love._

He continued to fawn over Arthur and curse his own feelings for a _very_ long time. It became a sort of messed up ritual after a while. Arthur would do something villainous, he'd be captured and Francis would set him free with a declaration of his never-ending love. Just like that.

And then Alfred came to visit.

The King of Spades was fresh, bubbly, a little naïve and exactly what the dying Kingdom of Spades needed. The old king and queen had been useless and greedy, using taxpayers' money for their own satisfaction and giving a little less than a damn about the starving folk in the streets, fighting to live. It was disgusting and horrid and Francis had shunned their despicable ways of life in the hope he could be a half decent king for his people.

Alfred was a fresh start for Spades. He began opening soup kitchen after soup kitchen and gave out free medical care and education before buying fancy outfits and pretty jewels, becoming the complete opposite of the bratty, spoiled prince everyone had expected him to be. Everybody loved him, even Francis until 'the Incident'.

Francis had invited the new king over for a congratulatory lunch one day and they were sitting in the roomy parlour as the midday sun shone through the window, chatting about general things like old friends, because that's just how relaxed Alfred made people, even the untouchable King of Diamonds. He truly was a man above men, Francis mused.

"So, Alfred. Do you plan on getting a queen anytime soon?" He asked suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows when the boy laughed.

"Dude, seriously. You can't say anything!" Alfred countered, leaning back into his seat as he put the fragile teacup to his lips, sipping.

"Perhaps there's a reason I've not tied the metaphorical knot yet, hm?" He muttered, internally cursing the reason to hell as Alfred's eyes widened.

"No way! You like someone!" The boy exclaimed, leaning forward in excitement. God, he was such a gossipy teenager.

"To put it in a childish way," he murmured, suddenly defensive as he leant away from Alfred's advance, biting his lip.

Alfred was up and jumping around the room, chanting "Francis has a crush!" when the butler knocked politely and peeked around the heavy door. He looked a little shocked at Alfred's display of 'how to be three years old' but quickly regained his composure to deliver the message. Francis liked this butler. He coughed and politely began a reciting a practiced announcement.

"Captain Arthur Kirkland was caught by your guards earlier this morning, sire. He remains in the dungeons 'waiting for your proclamation', to quote."

Francis immediately leapt up in excitement. "Well, why didn't you tell me sooner?" He quizzed, rushing to set his tea down on the glass coffee table and gather his robes, about to head down when he remembered his guest. He looked back at Alfred expectantly. "Well, are you coming?"

Alfred hesitated, before nodding quickly and following the King down to the dimly lit dungeons as he strode briskly, excited to see his Arthur once again.

They soon came across a cell unlike any other. Instead of rusted iron, it had polished metal for bars and not a speck of dust was to be found inside. Its door was crafted from only the finest mahogany, unlike its siblings' crude oak and there was an made bed to the right of the cell, with a beautiful pirate sitting on it, looking seriously pissed off.

"Oh Arthur, my dearest!" He chimed, opening the door and setting himself beside the captain, who in turn glared icily at him.

"Go die in a hole Francis. The world would certainly be a better place," said captain growled, crossing his arms angrily. And s_acre bleu,_ he was pouting! If it was for Arthur, Francis would surely die in a hole!

"Hush darling, you wouldn't want to spend your whole life in here or anything," Francis said deviously, smirking as he slung an arm over Arthur's small shoulders and looked up to check on Alfred. The boy had gone bright red for some reason. Maybe it was the fact Arthur had used Francis' first name? Oh yes, that was definitely it, he decided. Couldn't be anything else!

Arthur looked up at Alfred, suddenly realising that the two weren't completely alone. His enormous eyebrows quirked slightly as he scrutiniseed the young king.

"Who's he?"

Alfred seemed to freeze up in nervousness. Was the boy shy?

"I-I… I'm Alfred. Nice to… meet you…?" He stuttered, attempting a nervous grin.

"Arthur," the other answered, giving a nod as something a little stronger than interest filled his emerald eyes. Licking his lips, he winked at Alfred, who in turn freaked out and screeched, fighting his way out of the room. It was only when his rushed gait up the dungeon's steps faded into oblivion that realisation dawned on Francis.

He only stopped crying his heart out when the butler entered his room five months later to deliver the news of their engagement. Well, that Zwingli girl was always an option, if her brother didn't shoot him first.


	2. Que Sera Sera

_Hi again. I made you a sequel because of high demand *cough Dallie cough*. This might get a thing with Switzerland threatening our poor frenchman later, idk._

_Anywho, I'd like to thank the lovely __GarryxMrChairFan__ for beta-ing. :3 May the power of the melon lord be ever in your favour._

_I'm making this another chapter of On Pirates so I can make another little thing without having to create another story. So yeah._

_Enjoy~_

* * *

"I'm really glad you could come!"

Francis smiled gracefully at Alfred, pushing down the strong urge to throttle the little pirate-thief and burn the body later. He spotted Arthur with his hands across his mouth behind the King, body shaking with barely-held giggles as he watched the scene between his 'stalker' (Francis was of the opinion that he was just very passionate about their love, but obviously some people didn't think that way) and his new husband. The pirate (former pirate actually, Francis reminded himself; Alfred hadn't exactly agreed with the pillaging and the stealing and whatever else pirates do) had found a fantastic new hobby in the obliviousness of his significant other and the regret of his former love/hate friend. Francis could sulk all he liked; Arthur wasn't going to find it anything less than absolutely bloody hilarious and that was that.

"Seriously, man. You introduced us," it was hardly introducing, "thanks!"

Alfred turned around momentarily to grin at Arthur, who quickly shoved his hands down to his side and smiled innocently, as if he wasn't a bloodthirsty pirate that Alfred had only met because he'd been imprisoned at the perfect time and Francis was an idiot who dragged the young King with him to visit.

"It was nothing," Francis said, glaring at Arthur pettily while Alfred's back was turned.

Captain Arthur Kirkland really was no more. Instead of his marvelous red coat, almost the colour of the blood that regularly stained his cutlass, he wore a cloak of soothing purple, tied with a cloth bow that made Francis just want to smother him in hugs. His black captain's hat was replaced by a petite top hat thing, also purple, that almost drew the eye away from his unruly buttery hair, and his blueish-purple waistcoat pulled the outfit together completely, turning him into Queen Arthur of Spades at last.

Dieu, that was hard to get used to.

"Seriously dude! I gotta repay you sometime," Alfred insisted.

Francis was about to insist he didn't when the boy perked up unexpectedly as the music changed.

"Oh Artie, I love this song! Dance with me?" He asked, bowing slightly and holding a hand out to his blushing queen.

"W-well fine, arsehole. Hmph," Arthur stuttered, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the dance floor stubbornly as the King waved enthusiastically to the Diamondite.

Well, at least they were cute, Francis mused, checking around for a place to sit. His eyes came upon a table with a lonely figure sitting at it, his head in his hands as if he were bored with the party already. This was a celebration! Even if it was one Francis despised, he couldn't have someone not enjoying themselves. It's just not what happens.

He strode over to the mystery person proudly and placed his hands on the table to gain his attention. The stranger looked up with a gasp, and Francis got a view of his beautiful lavender eyes, hidden slightly by the frames of his obviously expensive glasses. They shocked the words out of Francis for a minute, and the two just sort of stared for a minute. Not that Francis was complaining.

"Eh, you seemed slightly… er… alone? I wondered if you were alright…" He muttered softly, caught in a slight trance. Dammit, get it together, Francis!

The person looked startled by Francis' presence. "You… saw me?"

"Oui, of course! Why would I not?" Francis quizzed, tilting his head slightly in confusion.

The other laughed lightly (_Adorable!_) and fixed his glasses. "People usually forget I exist, sorry. My name's Matthew. Matthew Williams."

Matthew, or in Francis' first tongue, Mathieu. What a beautiful name! It fit the boy well, Francis realised as he sat down beside him, careful not to jostle the delicate chair too much.

"I am Francis. Tell me, Matthew, how could anyone ignore such beauty as that which lies before me?"

Before a now bright red Matthew could answer, the pair were (rudely) interrupted by the new couple who had finished their dance and spied the strange scene from across the hall. Arthur's eyes were bright with even more amusement while Alfred just looked incredibly surprised for some reason. Huh?

"So Francis, flirting with my bro?" The King asked, one eyebrow lifted cockily.

Oh no. Oh God no.

"Y-your brother?!" Francis gasped as he looked between the two, instantly spotting the similarities. While Mathieu's hair was longer and curlier, it had the same golden brown tinge to it and their facial features were set in identical patterns. Not to mention the two both wore glasses. How had Francis not noticed this before?

"But… You said your name was Williams," he realised, turning to Mathieu in hopelessness, who in turn smiled apologetically.

"That was our mother's name. Alfred went with dad's."

Ah. Francis looked back to Arthur, now bent over and laughing his head off. The pirate spotted his helpless look and guffawed even louder. Sighing, Francis put his face into his warm hands and took a deep breath.

"Dude, you should so get together with Mattie!"

He looked up quickly to check if Alfred had actually said what he thought he'd said. The King grinned.

"We could have, like, double dates and things since you're, like, Arthur's best buddy!" he exclaimed, making Arthur pause in his unstoppable laughter.

"We're anything but!" the new queen growled, only to be ignored by his husband, who was now spouting nonsense about how cool it'd be for his friend and brother to be in a relationship and how they could go on 'double dates' and things.

Francis looked over to Mathieu, checking his reaction. He looked slightly indecisive, although you could see he worried about the attention the quartet were getting from the other party-goers. Francis smiled, conveying a sort of 'Yes, he is insane,' feeling and earning a soft grin from the boy.

Maybe it wasn't too bad that he'd lost Arthur, if it meant he got to meet Matthew.


End file.
